There is so much fun kid stuff to do in St. George. There is this awesome little river thing and splash pad that Peja loves. There was a cute movie in the park night there also while we were there.
We don't have a camera right now so I was reliant on my father in law's camera. We love Lake Powell so much. It was gorgeous, just like always. I didn't get much lake time in though. Me and the boys stuck pretty close to camp. Next year...
When one door closes another one always opens. TRUE, but you know what sucks? The hallway in between.
I started this post on 6/12/10 when Sasha was almost 6 weeks old and Ilija had held him/hung out with us maybe 5 times. It was a rough 6 weeks. Mainly because of our business, which was going crazy with employee problems. Since then it has improved dramatically, but is still not where we want it to be. About a year and a half ago we started working with the laws of thought and life has changed completely since then. We took a course called the Family Time and Money Freedom course and it was amazing. We feel so amazed and grateful every day for the money that has come and feel confident in being able to attract more, now we need to work on the family time part. I guess it is good to have something to work on. :)
These pictures are backwards but I am too lazy to switch them around.
The crew at our little "birth"day party.
Peja watching the baby nurse for the first time.
Ilija had just helped me pull this baby into our arms. He is slightly purple...:)
This is blurry, but this was me pulling the baby out and into my arms.
Such a cool experience.
I knew that I wanted an "intervention-free" birth because they are healthier for baby, for mom and have less chances of complications. So the only question was to try to brave it in the hospital or do it at home.
The main reason I decided to have a home birth...
- I had to be in the hospital the entire labor with Peja and I hated it. Everything turned out fine with his birth, but I have never been happy with that birth experience. I hated having to have the IV thing in my arm, hated being strapped down to the chair every so often so they could monitor the baby (it was excruciating). I craved a tub, but didn't have one. Hated the cold, sterile environment and having to sneak food and drink because it was against hospital policy. I hated how the doctor didn't come until the last 15 minutes and then got all pissed off when I didn't want an episiotomy and just sat back and let me tear a ton. I hated the recovery from the epidural, and having to have a catheter because I couldn't pee. I hated having to fight so hard to get back home quickly, they took SOOOO long to get all the paperwork and other stuff done. I just wanted to be home snuggling with my husband and son. I realize that all hospitals aren't like this and there is probably one in my area that is significantly better, but I knew the best way to make it the way I wanted was to just birth at home.
- Birth belongs at home!
- My sister has had all 4 of hers at home and has shown me the beauty of that. I have also read about tons of women's homebirths.
- I am really grateful for hospitals for extreme illness or injury, but I try to stay away from them beyond that. I am a firm believer that childbirth is neither illness nor injury and so for normal, low-risk pregnancy and childbirth there is really no reason to be there.
- I am not comfortable in hospitals and I really wanted to be as comfortable during labor.
- I think because of malpractice and having to use extreme caution several common practices in hospital just get in the way of labor and make it way harder. For instance, fetal monitoring and IV's. I know you can opt out of lots of things, but labor is hard enough without having to fight for what you want.
- Women have been birthing and laboring forever without hospitals and they have done fine. If there was a complication I live only 15 minutes from the hospital. That is not a big deal.
- Studies show that maternal and fetal outcomes are at least as good at home as in the hospital.
- There are all kinds of studies about this that are very interesting and facts that I don't feel like searching for references right now about how bad the US maternal and fetal outcomes compared to the rest of the world - including some developing nations - and how the countries at the top of the list with the best outcomes have normal, low risk births at home with midwives and only high-risk deliveries in hospitals with doctors. If you are interested you should do some research.
- Being able to be HOME (duh)
- The midwifery model of care that includes knowing you very well, being with you during labor, helping you to be healthy and strong throughout pregnancy and using more nutrition and natural things.
- Not having to go anywhere during labor.
- Not having to try to get home afterward.
- Not having to fight for an intervention-free birth
So if you have any questions let me know! I know that was not very scientific, but I am not about to go look up anything right now. I don't necessarily think that all people should birth at home, some people would be too nervous there. You need to be able to relax during labor. I do, however, think that anyone remotely interested should look into in more because it is definitely worth it! Ilija was REALLY against it with Peja. He was so worried about not being close to medical care. But he felt totally fine about it this time because he saw how uncomfortable I was in the hospital and how actually prepared midwives are.
Some thoughts about home birth from Ilija: (who hates having to watch me in labor)
- I would say, it is not as non-medical or unprepared as most people think. I definitely want to do it again.
- It went fast
- It was beautiful.
- I wasn't so worried about Katie being in pain because I felt like she was free to do whatever she needed - positions, the ball, counter, tennis balls, everything ready to help her.
- She knew what she wanted and was able to get it so it made me feel better as opposed to the hospital where she just wanted to get in the tub and was just frustrated.
Just as the sun came up on May 2nd Ilija and I pulled our sweet son up into our arms. We are so excited and happy to welcome Sasha Jack Vrajich into our home. He was born at 6:49 weighing in at 8 lbs even looking like quite a wrinkled old man/reptile. He was born at home in a birth tub. He nursed almost immediately and is an expert already. He has his daddy's dimples and the cutest smiles when he is sleeping. I expected him to look more like Peja then he actually does. It is so fun having a baby to snuggle with and it is amazing how HUGE Peja seems now. If you like birth stories, you can read the following.

Since April 3rd (the day I was 37 weeks along) I was ready for this baby to come. I was very excited and basically thought or did nothing else. Finally around 39 weeks I decided that was dumb and tried to distract myself. It didn't work very well and I was constantly getting excited with every little contraction that kind of felt like it bothered me. I tried to stimulate labor LOTS of different ways, including acupuncture. To no avail. Finally on May 1st he decided he'd come. I had decided to hide myself in a hole to avoid the "you STILL haven't had that baby" comments so it was a good thing he came.
At around 7:30 or 8 Ilija and I were on an incredibly exciting date night of grocery shopping for our facility. I had a couple of contractions that kind of made me take notice. I tried not to get excited because I had been doing that for WAy too long. We picked up Peja, rented a movie and went home to put him to sleep and watch it. By 11:30, about half way through the movie I told Ilija that he had better start filling up the birth tub. He looked at me like "oh, this is it, okay, cool" and went about his job. I was resting in bed and had to get up every so often to sway my hips and breath through a contraction. They didn't feel great, but not bad as long as I wasn't laying down. So for the next hour and a half I did that as Ilija ran around all over town looking for a longer hose and a better attachment for the sink so we could fill up the birth tub (I guess we should have checked if ours worked earlier - oops!) Everything is closed in Atascadero by that time so we ended up with some stuff from my dad's house.
So Ilija got everything together and by that time I had to show him how to squeeze my hips during contractions because the back labor was quite uncomfortable. He was an expert! And often times saved me from A LOT of discomfort by his strong squeezes. He would often be shaking by the end of the contraction because he was working so hard, but he was a champ about it. Somewhere in here we had my mom come over and bring lots of towels and we called the midwife. I got in the tub and it was GLORIOUS, like if there was an sound track this part would have been angels singing "Hallelujah!", until a contraction came and it was exactly the same. But regardless, at least my down time felt heavenly. After a little while it felt like the contractions had really slowed down and I didn't want labor to slow at all - I wanted to get this show on the road!
So I got out and drank a really strong cup of raspberry leaf tea to make labor stronger and harder. It worked! Pretty soon I was having to be really vocal during contractions and I would yell "pressure" and someone (most of the time Il) would run to squeeze my hips. Somewhere in there I threw up a ton and peed all at the same time. There is nothing like labor to make you not care what kind of mess you are making of yourself. So I got back in the tub. It was so nice again. I had the midwife check my dilation before I got in to make sure I was far enough along so that labor wouldn't slow down. I asked not to know what my dilation was, just a yes or no to get in the tub. She said yes so in I went. I was in there for about and hour and a half and then I started to get REALLY hot and faint and worried I was losing too much energy. I got out and asked her to check if I had even progressed. She said yes I had.
As soon as I got out of the tub the contractions started coming fast and furious. I kept trying to lay down and take advantage of the break between contractions that I had had for the last few hours, but I made it as far as kneeling on the bed and every time I tried to start laying down another one would come. I know now this was transition, but I had no idea then. So I was on all fours on the bed and then I kind of propped myself up so that I was kneeling but in a more upright position - it seemed like it would make it easier for the baby to come down and holy cow did those contractions hurt! But it felt like something was happening and that made me excited so I didn't care. What seemed like a few minutes later my legs were shaking and I was so tired. I had to get down. It was really hard because that meant moving during contractions, but I made it to the birth stool so I could rest my legs.
Somewhere in here I spontaneously pushed with a contraction. I told the midwife and she said, "see if you can feel the babies head." So I checked and there it was - WOW! That meant I could push whenever I felt like it. So I felt like pushing the next contraction on the birth stool and the midwife (who was the apprentice) said "oh wow, you are going to be a fast pusher, let me go get Edana." (the real midwife). I hated the birth stool so I moved back into the tub. I was squatting and clinging for dear life to Ilija who was on the other side of the little tub wall. That urge to push is amazing! It took every ounce of strength I had to slow down at all and I didn't even do it very well. They kept telling me to slow down and breath and slow down my breath, but I was panting quickly and pushing like crazy with every contraction. It is so strange that incredible, involuntary push that happens. I was suprised by the strength of that urge. At some point as Sasha was crowning I realized that the back labor was gone so I sat back in the pool with Ilija behind me (still outside of the pool). A few more pushes and out came his head! They unwrapped the cord and then came his shoulders. Then he had kind of turned and his hips were still inside, but his arms and upper torso were out. He was facing up and had his eyes open and his arms moving. It was a little while before the next contraction that pushed the rest of him out so I just held him there in the water and got to see a glimpse of what it looks like for them to be in the womb. It was so surreal and special. He came out with the next push and Ilija and I together pulled him up into my arms. Oh it was so beautiful!
Peja had been awake for about 15 minutes (being distracted downstairs) and he came in right after we had the baby. He was very timid and asked me if I was swimming, but he had an interesting look on his face, like he knew something special had happened. I believe very strongly that at birth and death we are the closest we can get to God. The veil is very thin and I think a 2 year old can feel that even better then we can. It was such a sweet feeling to be able to climb into bed and snuggle with my sweetheart and two boys in my own home. I was so happy! and so very, very tired. My dad cooked an awesome breakfast and I chowed. Then we got to take a nap. That evening we had an AMAZING dinner that my dad cooked and some delicious chocolate cake with my parents, ils parents and my brothers over for a little "Birth"day party! How cool.
I will post more pictures when my mom brings the camera back from San Diego.
I will also post some thoughts on home birth from Ilija and I later.
Since April 3rd (the day I was 37 weeks along) I was ready for this baby to come. I was very excited and basically thought or did nothing else. Finally around 39 weeks I decided that was dumb and tried to distract myself. It didn't work very well and I was constantly getting excited with every little contraction that kind of felt like it bothered me. I tried to stimulate labor LOTS of different ways, including acupuncture. To no avail. Finally on May 1st he decided he'd come. I had decided to hide myself in a hole to avoid the "you STILL haven't had that baby" comments so it was a good thing he came.
At around 7:30 or 8 Ilija and I were on an incredibly exciting date night of grocery shopping for our facility. I had a couple of contractions that kind of made me take notice. I tried not to get excited because I had been doing that for WAy too long. We picked up Peja, rented a movie and went home to put him to sleep and watch it. By 11:30, about half way through the movie I told Ilija that he had better start filling up the birth tub. He looked at me like "oh, this is it, okay, cool" and went about his job. I was resting in bed and had to get up every so often to sway my hips and breath through a contraction. They didn't feel great, but not bad as long as I wasn't laying down. So for the next hour and a half I did that as Ilija ran around all over town looking for a longer hose and a better attachment for the sink so we could fill up the birth tub (I guess we should have checked if ours worked earlier - oops!) Everything is closed in Atascadero by that time so we ended up with some stuff from my dad's house.
So Ilija got everything together and by that time I had to show him how to squeeze my hips during contractions because the back labor was quite uncomfortable. He was an expert! And often times saved me from A LOT of discomfort by his strong squeezes. He would often be shaking by the end of the contraction because he was working so hard, but he was a champ about it. Somewhere in here we had my mom come over and bring lots of towels and we called the midwife. I got in the tub and it was GLORIOUS, like if there was an sound track this part would have been angels singing "Hallelujah!", until a contraction came and it was exactly the same. But regardless, at least my down time felt heavenly. After a little while it felt like the contractions had really slowed down and I didn't want labor to slow at all - I wanted to get this show on the road!
So I got out and drank a really strong cup of raspberry leaf tea to make labor stronger and harder. It worked! Pretty soon I was having to be really vocal during contractions and I would yell "pressure" and someone (most of the time Il) would run to squeeze my hips. Somewhere in there I threw up a ton and peed all at the same time. There is nothing like labor to make you not care what kind of mess you are making of yourself. So I got back in the tub. It was so nice again. I had the midwife check my dilation before I got in to make sure I was far enough along so that labor wouldn't slow down. I asked not to know what my dilation was, just a yes or no to get in the tub. She said yes so in I went. I was in there for about and hour and a half and then I started to get REALLY hot and faint and worried I was losing too much energy. I got out and asked her to check if I had even progressed. She said yes I had.
As soon as I got out of the tub the contractions started coming fast and furious. I kept trying to lay down and take advantage of the break between contractions that I had had for the last few hours, but I made it as far as kneeling on the bed and every time I tried to start laying down another one would come. I know now this was transition, but I had no idea then. So I was on all fours on the bed and then I kind of propped myself up so that I was kneeling but in a more upright position - it seemed like it would make it easier for the baby to come down and holy cow did those contractions hurt! But it felt like something was happening and that made me excited so I didn't care. What seemed like a few minutes later my legs were shaking and I was so tired. I had to get down. It was really hard because that meant moving during contractions, but I made it to the birth stool so I could rest my legs.
Somewhere in here I spontaneously pushed with a contraction. I told the midwife and she said, "see if you can feel the babies head." So I checked and there it was - WOW! That meant I could push whenever I felt like it. So I felt like pushing the next contraction on the birth stool and the midwife (who was the apprentice) said "oh wow, you are going to be a fast pusher, let me go get Edana." (the real midwife). I hated the birth stool so I moved back into the tub. I was squatting and clinging for dear life to Ilija who was on the other side of the little tub wall. That urge to push is amazing! It took every ounce of strength I had to slow down at all and I didn't even do it very well. They kept telling me to slow down and breath and slow down my breath, but I was panting quickly and pushing like crazy with every contraction. It is so strange that incredible, involuntary push that happens. I was suprised by the strength of that urge. At some point as Sasha was crowning I realized that the back labor was gone so I sat back in the pool with Ilija behind me (still outside of the pool). A few more pushes and out came his head! They unwrapped the cord and then came his shoulders. Then he had kind of turned and his hips were still inside, but his arms and upper torso were out. He was facing up and had his eyes open and his arms moving. It was a little while before the next contraction that pushed the rest of him out so I just held him there in the water and got to see a glimpse of what it looks like for them to be in the womb. It was so surreal and special. He came out with the next push and Ilija and I together pulled him up into my arms. Oh it was so beautiful!
Peja had been awake for about 15 minutes (being distracted downstairs) and he came in right after we had the baby. He was very timid and asked me if I was swimming, but he had an interesting look on his face, like he knew something special had happened. I believe very strongly that at birth and death we are the closest we can get to God. The veil is very thin and I think a 2 year old can feel that even better then we can. It was such a sweet feeling to be able to climb into bed and snuggle with my sweetheart and two boys in my own home. I was so happy! and so very, very tired. My dad cooked an awesome breakfast and I chowed. Then we got to take a nap. That evening we had an AMAZING dinner that my dad cooked and some delicious chocolate cake with my parents, ils parents and my brothers over for a little "Birth"day party! How cool.
I will post more pictures when my mom brings the camera back from San Diego.
I will also post some thoughts on home birth from Ilija and I later.

